Life

Well I'm thankful, this was a better year. I'm working part time, better than no time and another part time is to soon follow, next new digs..., my kids are great, they were happy to have a bit more than last year. I spent the day with them, I cooked I chilled and talked with the x and the outlaws, it was a quiet nice holiday. I'm trying to get my rides fixed and I tell you, I'm pooped, my son is pre-occ'd with his girl, which means he's no help to me. Oh the joys of maturity. I'm hungry and waiting for a ride to the homestead, early day tomorrow, God is Good and he is gracious. I plan for this year to be my year, up and on!

Okay I've decided I need a boyfriend..., I'm dating my self...lol, I need that guy who wants to do dinner and movies and boyfriend stuff, I miss Texas. I'm tired of guys wanting to CHILL, I can do that myself, by myself, with my girls, I'm not asking you to spend a grip, but I wanna go to movies and do fun stuff..ugh, My birthday I spent hanging with my kids and my girls. Now I'm busy trying to generate some serious income for this business I'm currently working with. Who knows may be I will have my own Karate school someday, It could happen, I see me and my kids with our own someday, I need my own business a legacy to pass on to my familia.

Well I was blessed to see another year. I spent my day with my kids, they played hooky and stayed with me, they were concerned about me being alone on my birthday. I got good kids, my little girl made me a special card, the oldest got me a card and even their pops, my x got me a sweet scarf and card. Texas called me this am, The Great One gave me a birthday kiss...WOW!, but otherwise I gave thanks and enjoyed some tamales my bff made me, a job called me that was my ULTIMATE highpoint, me and crew plan to dip out the weekend and have some fun. My mom called me, I'm just ready to keep it movin, I want a place of my own again and be with me babies. My plan is to be independently wealthy, I'm praying about it daily, now I gotta get ready to work out tonight and have a late movie date...

It's been a busy time. Went to a wedding with former co-workers, it was good seeing some of them, some of the fake people, please, please, spare me your fake concern, ugh, back off, buzz off, bust up away from me. See your first sign should be when you place your hand on my shoulder in fake concern i look at that hand. See I've already broken it and flung you across the room. See I'm tired of so called know it all folk trying to figure me out, talking about i could, should blah blah blah, all while tucked safely away in the comfort of your world. It's hard out here, but God is good and I will figure it out and work it out. In other news is there a McDonalds that actually serves "fast food" and Wendy's caught me off guard with a price hike...yikes?

It's almost candy day it's cold and damp outside I miss Texas. I feel like i'm in a serious of unfortunate events. I waited and was patient, because I know that every journey has a destination, well mine was The End. Usually I see these things coming, but wouldn't you know my goofy self got ddt'd and next thing I know pinfall of heartbreak and 3 count and I'm out. Anyhoo onward and upward, I must now get back on my grind and lose the love's broken heart weight I put on, Chocolate is a good replacement, but it will place on your bod...omg. Hopefully life opps will get better I will make some real loot and get on with life with my kids, we gotta find our own digs together again. I did finally get my hair did, after this it's braid weave and fun hair time, this is for the job hunt.

I had plans to do some serious hang time, alas, life...Kids, but it's all good. Had got my mind right for this white party I was gonna make a showing at and then my baby boy and the mother of my x drama broke out, he's 11, you said and did nothing to your other pea-headed grand kids, nobody could hurt their feelings without some drama...anyhoo he walked to me? at night on 7 mile...should the father really called me and could not handle it, besides when the reason he left was cause the snake tongued mom of his was talking bout me>? She's truly a le miserable. Went to Super K and did some shopping, got some good sales, I gotta go back, I'm a Detroit K-Mart type of gal, I plan to use there lay-a-way plan soon. I think I was supposed to have a date today hmmm, oh well. I had my house windows boarded up in the rear. They already took the copper, and anything good, I'm just keeping my stuff there till I get some additional employment where I can get another place t

I've been laboring all my life for this that or the other, I wish to rest, in a ideal situation I be with my cowboy cooking and doing what couples do, however this is not that anymore, so I will be with my kids and hang with some pals and enjoy and get them ready for school. I have been asked out but...Guy #2 is looking for a number 2..lol, Guy #3 a friend, Guy #4 a friend and they shall stay that way, I have no interest in anything else with either of them. Life would be so simple if only, but it's not, it won't be and at this point I got work to do, life continues on.

Man oh Man, I'm so bummed, heartbreak heals, you meet new people, but it's hard to wait out without replacing it with something...so i keep healthy snacks around me and try to keep it moving and I'm determined not to shut down and lock out the world, besides I always said if Love didn't work this time I'm done. I will work smart to make my place in the world and be rich happy and travel the world with my kids and extended family, they keep me busy. A woman can never have too many shoes and enough jewelry, perhaps Diamonds are really a girlz best friend..lol

This was a good weekend, summer fun fest, bbq cook out and games for all, the only thing missing was ...you know, but as long as I avoid sad songs and sappy movies, I should be okay, my legs hurt, my accupressure gal says it's cause I'm worried about a man, could be, yea it is. It's been a while. Meanwhile back at the ranch I'm resisting temptation to call an ex, or get involved with the next. I'm giving me some me time, trying create a new career for me, that pays well, I'm good at what I do and somewhere somebody will pay me well for it, then I can get some new digs to live in and watch my babies grow well. So I've outlined my goals and other than a good dye job to my hair and keep exercising to avoid the broken heart= fatty food syndrome, I plan to meditate with God, and do what I always do..keep movin.

The thing about surprises is that you still need to be prepared to handle the suprise. I received a unexpected surprise that I longed for, so I at this moment should be blissfully stupid from love and being loved. Nope, instead, I am doing the same thing I do every weekend...karate,kids,dinner, t.v. So I had wanted to know what was up and waited patiently, my answer has been given to me.........SUPRISE!

For a while after my marriage ended, I was angry that I spent so much time into a marriage that was not successful. But after years of soul searchin, I learned to accept my X for who he is. We had a beautiful life together for a while and had 3 great kids whom we are both sharing in the raising of. I realized that the man he is in part is due to the parents he has and their lacking. So this holiday weekend, we barbqued and watched our kids play and sat and looked and movies and I told him of the man I love and he told me of his aspirations, it was a good weekend. I discussed his ever growing sisters roomer mill, which he assured me he will take care of, they spend more time yappin than hound dogs on the scent of somthing yummy, so as I asserted my independence of freedom from anger, his family and we work on staying the friends we were when we met, we sat as a mom and dad and watched our children.

THE SUN HAD FINALLY BEGAN TO COME OUT, WHEN SUDDENLY IT'S GRAY AGAIN..I NEED SUNSHINE. I'M SAD, THE SILLINESS I DEALT WITH MARRIED TO MY EX FROM HIS FAMILY SHE HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH, BUT SHE'S EASILY HURT, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS, BUT I BUILT UP A CALLOUS, SHE'S LEAVING WITH MY TINY RAY OF SUNSHINE HER LITTLE GIRL. I'M STEAMED BECAUSE SHE LOOKED OUT FOR MY KIDS TO WHILE THEY ARE RESIDING WITH THEIR POPS, WHICH MEANS I WILL HAVE TO START INTERACTING WITH THEM AGAIN..OH BOY, BUT BE WARNED, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD OR MOMENT FOR ANY OF THEIR RUDE SILLY BEHAVIOR, SO I BETTER PRAY MORE NOW, I COME IN PEACE. I'M STILL LOOKING FOR WORK,BEING A GOOD MOMMA, A RESOLUTION TO MY DEFUNT HOUSE, MY GUY OUTSTATE, MY NEW CAREER YET TO BE DETERMINED, I DID TALK TO A PASTOR I KNEW FROM MY YOUTH AND HE WAS SO POSITIVE, IT TOUCHED ME, I JUST GOTTA KEEP DA FAITH.

OKAY IT'S BEEN 3 WEEKS TODAY SINCE THE "PROCEDURE" IF I GET ONE MORE OFFER OF SEX FROM TAKEN MEN I WILL SCREAM... IF YOU HAVE A GIRL KEEP MOVING, IF YOU HAVE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER KEEP MOVING AND REALLY IF YOU HAVE A WIFE, PLEASE KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE NUMBER TWO FOR PENIS...WTF? I REALLY BELIEVE MEN WATCH TOO MUCH T.V., REALITY SHOWS AREN'T REALLY REALITY, IT'S JUST A LIVE SOAP OPERA, WITH THE BLOOPERS, DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE, EVERYWOMAN DOES NOT DESIRE YOU, WANT YOU, LUST FOR YOU TO TOUCH THEM. I TOLD A BUD OF MINE THAT I LOVE BUT ONE MAN AND I DON'T MIND WAITING AND I HAVE COMPANIONSHIP, SO I DON'T NEED HIM PANTING AROUND ME..ON THE OTHER HAND, I FEEL BETTER, SINCE I GOT EVERYTHING DONE, I'M JUST TRYING TO RECOVER, AND HAVE SOME PEACE OF MIND.

OKAY AS A BROAD OF A CERTAIN AGE, CERTAIN THINGS BECAME NECESSARY IN ORDER FOR ME TO BE ALL THE BROAD I CAN BE. THE PLUMBING SYSTEM HAD TO BE REMOVED (FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM) FOR THE SLOW. WHY IS IT THAT MEN THINK FOR SOME REASON I NEEDED TO SAY FAREWELL TO MY PARTS AND THEY WERE THE DESIRED PARTY I LONGED FOR. CAN YOU SAY "DREAM WORLD" ANYHOO, THE SURGERY HAS BEEN DONE AND ALL MY WANNA BE MAN FRIENDS DON'T STRESS, MY LADY PARTS ARE FINE AND REQUIRE NOTHING FROM YOU. AND THE EX'S THE NEXT'S THE WANNA BE'S KEEP IT MOVING, I'M GOOD. I NEED NO BREAKING IN, NO REVISITING AMOUR, LEAVE ME BE. EVERY GUY I KNOW HAS A COMPANION, WHO REAPS THE BENEFITS OF BEING THEIR LOVE, I REFUSE TO BE NO 2, I AM NO 1. TWO IS NOT A WINNER AND 3 NOBODY REMEMBERS UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF TIGER'S GIRLZ. PEACE

THIS IS A NEW AND EXCITING YEAR 2011. IF I CAN JUST START A NEW CAREER AND KEEP IT MOVING. I WAS FULL OF SO MUCH HOPE IN 2010, AND NOW I NEED MORE THAN HOPE, I NEED A PLAN. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS THAT AND THE OTHER AND HAVE DISCOVERED, I GOTTA MAKE MOVES AND LOOK OUT FOR NO. 1 ME.